Do you ever have those times when your mind is so full and active you can’t sleep for trying? Running over every detail of the day and everything you did wrong? It can be quite a headache trying to be something you’re not but I have some powerful tips for you to be unapologetically you.
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I am, quite often, fretting over how I have disappointed others. Feeling guilty for sharing my opinion or for doing something I wanted to do. Even being who I want to be when it doesn’t fit into someone else’s ideas for me.
As a result, I find myself constantly being sorry for the things I do and say. Making me doubt myself entirely, being fearful of the future and anxious about how I have made others feel and what they will do.
I know that I am not alone in these thoughts and feelings.
It can make you feel lost, small and unheard, and completely lacking any confidence and strength in yourself. Relying on others to prove your self-worth and constantly stuck in negative self-talk.
My own experience has lead me to believe that it is so important to be unapologetically yourself. Standing by your decisions, taking charge of your life and having the confidence and self-worth you deserve.
Why You Should be Unapologetically You
It is a bit obvious, isn’t it? We should get to be ourselves no matter what, for no one else but ourselves.
No hiding, no holding back, no mask of perfection and not staying true to yourself.
We are human, we are imperfect, and we should all have the opportunity to lead a life we desire. But relying on your self-worth from your actions and relationships means you may always be seeking approval.
Typically striving to people please and living for others (like I used to). Unable to find happiness just the way you are and stopping you from creating a life you love.
This isn’t how I wanted to live and I’m sure you don’t want to either. So it’s time to change your mindset, your actions and your emotions. Allowing you to become your true self and be unapologetically you.
10 Top Tips to be You, Unapologetically
I want to give you some tips to be you and discover a happier, truer you. Learn how to be firm in your identity and begin to understand yourself and your mind. Starting a journey of self-discovery and self-love today.
1. Stop Saying Sorry
This is essential because saying sorry is a natural reaction when we have disappointed someone. However, you are not responsible for other people’s happiness, they are. Just as you are in control of your own happiness.
I used to always think the word sorry would be like a band-aid. Patching it up and fixing everything. The reality is, it doesn’t. Instead, I would be left feeling worse about myself and begging for the forgiveness and approval from others.
Apologising all the time can make the word sorry absolutely meaningless. As well as reveal that you do not stand by your decisions or opinions.
Be confident and firm in your choices and be proud to be you. Apologise when it is the right time, but not all the time when it’s not needed. Sometimes we do things wrong and make mistakes and take responsibility of those.
Even if you make mistakes, it shouldn’t negatively impact your self-worth. It is actually a chance for learning, growth and self-compassion. Propelling you on the journey to becoming your best self, unapologetically.
2. Take Accountability
Accountability is a huge part of personal growth and wellness. We have to hold ourselves responsible for our own actions, the ones that are right and the ones that are wrong.
Doing things for other people can make it easier to blame them if things don’t go right or if they do not get the desired result. Not only does this mean you are not taking responsibility for your actions and decisions but they aren’t either.
Accountability puts you in the driver’s seat of your life. Knowing and understanding that each of your actions and decisions will have an impact on your life. Allowing you to make informed decisions about the direction you are heading in.
This mindset also allows you to stop acting reactively to other people’s decisions. Anything can happen but the way you use and learn from your experiences is what counts. You are accountable for your next actions and how you react.
Resulting in you feeling empowered and in charge of your life, being unapologetically you.
3. Build up courage
I would get so scared of the possible outcomes and the future that I would never take the leap. Holding myself back because of my weakness and fear.
Realising that you have the power within you to change this mindset can replace that weakness with courage. Courage, strength and bravery are qualities that grow and develop. Defeating your own demons and having the courage to put yourself first and take the leap.
Do the thing that has scared you for so long. Do it right now in spite of fear, with courage. Even the smallest leaps made consistently help you build up this practice and mindset.
In time you can encourage yourself to pursue new, exciting experiences and be unapologetically you.
4. Take a Positive Stance
I know that my fear is generated from the negative outcomes I see in everything. Why do I not think of the positive instead?
Think of the good things that come from your actions, imagine the opportunities that might come to you, picture the positive response you could get.
What is the worst that can happen if you ask for something?
Someone says no. Pushing you to think of other ways, a better idea or a new approach. There is always a moment for learning and improvement in every aspect of life.
Your perspective of situations is also very important for your mindset and emotions. If you look at every situation in a positive light you will feel good, you will see the good in everything and the potential opportunities you may have missed before.
This practice also promotes you to look on yourself in a more positive and caring light. Showing yourself compassion and the promise that you show in your life when you are unapologetically you.
5. Breathe
If you feel yourself slipping into panic, stress, anxiety and fear… stop for a minute. Take some really deep slow breathes.
Feeling the air completely fill your lungs, pushing out your chest and stomach and centring yourself. By focusing on your breathing you give your escalating mind a rest.
Slowly explore your mind and the cause of the panic feelings. Ask questions such as:
- How exactly are you feeling and why?
- What are you thinking?
- Where did the thoughts and feelings originate, the cause?
- What are the positive and negative aspects of the current situation?
- How am I accountable?
- What am I in control of?
Remember that you are in control of yourself and your mind, not responsible for anyone else’s either. So breathe and recenter your energy on yourself, rather than letting it run wild and crazy. Allowing you to make better decisions that support your unapologetic self.
Using this mindfulness technique often can transform your mindset and your life.
6. Make Changes to Your Mindset
Your mindset is something you can work on, practice and build over time. A strong, positive and confident mindset will help you in your journey of self-discovery and becoming unapologetically you.
Feeling strong on the inside reflects and shines on the outside.
Grow from being a fearful person to a brave one through your mind and its resilience. Your mindset can determine how you feel, think and perceive situations and yourself. Change it.
Know what you want, be firm in your choices with a strong mindset and stay true to yourself.
Your mindset can also free you from the approval and external validation you need. Instead, your self-worth comes from within and is unshakeable.
You can use our free 50 personal growth journal prompts to explore yourself. Identify your strengths, weaknesses, goals and limiting beliefs to build a better mindset. Sign up below and get them in your inbox!
7. Only Give Yourself Permission
What I mean by this statement is that no one can make you feel bad without your permission. Just as you are not responsible for anyone else’s feelings.
Your perception, your mindset, your reactions are what you control. Therefore, other people’s actions can only make you feel bad through your perception of it.
Recognise that you have total power over your own emotions, can change them and be a better version of yourself through them. Not allowing things to break you down, throw you off track, or make you feel guilty.
You are enough. No one should dictate otherwise. Do not give them permission to make you feel any different about yourself.
8. Own Your Opinion
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, the same goes for you.
This doesn’t mean you have to go about it in a horrible, spiteful way. Being unapologetically you does not entitle you to force your opinions or thoughts on others. It means that you recognise your opinion, can stand up for it whilst acknowledging other’s opinions too.
Being open to learning from others, responsive in all situations and welcoming to others. You can be strong in your view of yourself and where you want to go but not be fixed in your ways.
Stubbornness can be stagnating and I think life is about learning, growing and changing to be your best self.
9. Balance
Balance also comes hand in hand with owning your opinions and knowing your mind, sometimes it feels selfish. We need a balance between giving and taking in order to progress and advance into your better self.
Balance is needed in all areas of life: social, family, work and me-time. Giving too much to others leaves little energy for yourself and taking from others can cause friction and negativity. It is hard to achieve but is excellent when balance is created.
It is a journey and you also have to find what works best for you. Everyone is different and what works for your friends might not work for you. Use our life balance quiz to find your perfect balance.
10. Love
The biggest thing of all, love.
I do not completely love myself but I am surrounded by love. Take a look around and appreciate all the people in your life, how lucky you are, how full of love they are. See yourself as they see you, a miracle, unique and brilliant.
Do not look at yourself from a place of hate, disgust or negativity because you will only bring yourself down, giving others’ that permission too. Instead, use your positive outlook, courage and mindset to see yourself and see your worth.
When you are accepting and loving of yourself, you can be brave, strong and confident, it shows on the outside too. You become unapologetically you. You are worthy of all love, accept it, and let it fill your entire body.
I would not be where I am today without it and it is a feeling that can only grow and make you happier than ever before.
Are You Ready to be Unapologetically You?
I hope these 10 tips have inspired you to be more confident in yourself and take control of your life. Holding onto your strength and power and growing into a beautiful you. Not apologising for making decisions for yourself, you are not a disappointment, you are not responsible for others and you are not selfish.
Do not be a victim of fearfulness and anxiety. You are brave, strong and individual. Make your own life, not for anyone else. You are worthy of being you, of being happy and having love.